AGITATIONS !!!

Suddenly you go to the seashore. You find it is a low tide. The sea is calm and quiet.

Just few hours back there were these waves. Making sound. Moving with lot of energy.

Yes for the last three days there was this agitated mind. With lots of thoughts of depression and fear.

Yes was knowing it, that this is a changing phenomena . Yes i knew that in a short time , may be in few hours or few days this agitation will go away. Yes i had the memories of such occasions in the past.

Yes i had the knowledge that these are the thoughts emerging due to the stored Vasanas.

Yes i could sense the Kundalini energy going up and down.

But just could not keep away the thoughts of depression and fear.

It is generally said in sermons to avoid certain kind of thoughts and to indulge in certain other kinds of thoughts. But here was a situation when it was impossible to shift from those thoughts. Even though i was knowing that i am not these thoughts. I am that. Yes i know i am that. But at that time i was deeply , deeply drowned in the sea of thoughts of depression and fear.

And it was also difficult to come to the state of transcended mind.

What was needed was the centring of the mind.

Tried to look within at the heart chakra, where the shiva lingam is established.

This looking within would give me some relief.

That was last night.

May be that worked. But i am not sure.

And what happened today morning , when i woke up from my sleep, was which i knew would happen.

I was silent within. The agitation of the mind and those thoughts were missing.

There was this tranquillity of the mind.

Just one glance and i was in that transcendent state.

Yes i am that.

Yes this is not one time phenomena. This has happened many times.

Initially i wouldn’t know what it is.

Later as i progressed and reached the state of transcended mind , i came to know thru my inner guru that these are vasanas which are being energised.

Also read in Geeta about it , somewhere in 14^th chapter or so.

But surely at this stage it is just killing.

Specially once when i have tasted that state of transcended mind.

I do not know, what is the future. But at this stage looking out for an external help , through a guru who has established himself in the knowledge of kundalini science.